And life has a funny way of helping you out when you think everything’s gone wrong and everything blows up in your face.” Alanis Morissette-Ironic;1996
Death is part of life. Isn’t it ironic?
Isn’t it inevitable? Isn’t it incredibly painful? Yes. Yes, it is. The loss itself, the absence of a loved one, a change in your days, just missing their company. The process, though. Wow. Why do we not know more about the physical process, the deterioration, since, well, it’s imminent? It’s ugly. We don’t like ugly. We like nice and neat. Social media appealing. Mask on, emotions controlled, life goes on.
Yet, sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes the trauma and loss put the kibosh on your every day. Sometimes you lose the ability to function as a human being. Many times, the pain is too much, and your sadness turns to fear, panic and depression.
Our society says, take your 3-5 days to grieve, write out the thank you cards, and get back at it
Our hearts say, whoa! I gotta bleed a little, recover and tiptoe back to life.
I’m recovering from a few losses..hard ones. Sometimes we skip the grieving process because it’s inconvenient or bad timing. I promise, it will hit like a freight train years later, when you’re already down. Ask me how I know.
When you wonder why you had your children,(admit it, there are times!) I assure you, when you get wisdom from them as adults, it becomes clear. What they’ve gleaned from life with you comes around in the form of advice and support. I’ve been schooled by my big kids about how these dark times are where we grow...about how it’s ok to be sad...about taking time to get healthy...about unconditional love.
So, I’m tiptoeing back to life. It’s hard. But my very much alive people miss me. I miss me. So I peel a layer of pain here and there. I tuck the lesson in my heart, and take another step. I have a great God to walk me through it. I have amazing God friends and family, too.
I don’t write this to receive pity...I write this to cleanse me, to acknowledge my pain, to heal, and hopefully give someone a pass to grieve however they need to for as long as they need to. Life really is short..Use every single day to make the best of it, even in the valleys. One step forward with a little more strength is a win on any give day. I’m winning today. Tomorrow, well, who knows? But even if it’s one step back, I will get there eventually. You cannot put a time limit on emotional healing. So don’t. Give yourself some grace, even when others don’t. God’s on the other side of all of it, and it’s going to be ok. He promises that. I truly believe it.
So love your people like it’s the last time you’re going to see them. Because, truth is, it may be. Love ferociously even though the pain of losing them will be equally ferocious. Have no regrets about your part of the story. And be grateful that your ability to love well is why you grieve so hard.
Today is a gift.... here’s to healing and growing.
Here’s to you.....TK,DK,EK,DK,ES,AR,EK,MP,JB,LM,AK,MK and many more.
1 Thessalonians 4:13-14
Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.
...and make sure you fall asleep in Him when you die...don’t wait to answer God’s call . He will take you on your deathbed, but He wants you now. ❤️