"I'm all my fingers!"

I was greeted bright and early this morning by a grinning,brown eyed boy who could barely contain his excitement. Today is his 10th birthday! And birthdays are his favorite! He’s been waiting quite patiently for 364 days. After I told him happy birthday and I squeezed his adorable little 10 year old body, he smiled and said,” I’m all my fingers,” and he held up his 2 hands. My heart melted and my eyes leaked a little. This boy, this amazing little man stirred up such mommy love, I cried. I cried as I reminded him that he is loved, that he has always been loved, and that he always will be. I reminded him that I love being his mom and that God gave me a gift 8 years ago when he brought us together. I cry as I write this because the past several months have been rough. There has been so much focus on school stuff, attention stuff and growing up too soon stuff, that this small reprieve, this little glimpse of my tender sweet boy redirected my focus. I am missing too many moments rushing through this life. I am spending too many hours in frustration instead of thanksgiving. I am too preoccupied with conformity and forgetting to celebrate his distinct personality. So, as we gingerly await the next birthday, I promise to welcome every, “ How long til my birthday, again?”  I vow to see the innocence above the mischief. I plan to celebrate the little victories, and be ok with where we are, as well as resist the temptation to make him a cookie cutter kid. He isn’t and that’s perfectly ok with me! Happy Birthday, little Jay...you are loved!