A recent surge of failing relationships and painful break ups in and around my circle has prompted me to write about it. I am in constant prayer for the hurting and abandoned who suffer in unhealthy relationships and those who are alone because of them.

Deception. Rejection. Betrayal. We’ve all been victims. Human nature guarantees that we will be either the giver or receiver of all of these at one point or another throughout our lives.  The pain and heartache that accompany an emotional attack is overwhelming. When we put our trust in the people we love, we expect respect and reciprocal love. But, we fail each other daily. There is proof in the divorce rate and number of children in foster care.  So, what is the answer?

It helps to understand that we are not alone. The God who created us never leaves us. (Deuteronomy 31:6) He is always the same. (James 1:17) He is faithful. (1 Corinthians 1:9) His loyalty and truth never falter. He provides protection for us. (Psalm 34:20) God loved us so much that he gave His only son to die a sacrificial death to cover our sins. If we believe in Him and follow Him, we will have eternal life with Him. It is a true test of our faith to believe that God is working things out for our good and his glory. We must trust Him with our relationships. Our reactions need to reflect who we are. Taking the high road is oh, so difficult, but we must. And no matter the outcome, we know that God is for us. (Romans 8:31)

So while the wounds are deep and the hurt is real, remember to lean on the only constantly good thing going; the rock who is Jesus. (Psalm 62:6) He understands your suffering. I use this verse a lot, but again, Hebrews 4:15 says “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.” He desires us to have healthy relationships. But while we cannot always escape painful relationships, Jesus makes our trials bearable. Ask Him for strength and patience. Ask for discernment for decision making as you walk through that valley. He will be there. Do not become bitter. Pray for those who hurt you that they may find Jesus. He alone can make the impossible situation into something bearable and even beautiful. His timing is not ours; his ways are not our ways. Be still and know that He is God. (Psalm 46:10) He has this and He has you.

 *I encourage you to seek help and get out immediately if you are in an abusive relationship. If your situation is difficult but not dangerous, seek sound biblical counseling and a support group. God hears our pleas. You are not alone.

 

As I begin my research on the topic of my identity in the world versus my identity in Christ, I am obsessed with seeking scripture's answers. We spend countless hours and days labeling ourselves and defining who we are with LIES! We are not what we do!! We are not our past mistakes! Praise God, we are so much more!
Today I will focus on these truths, and I encourage you to do the same...

•  My past does not define me. I am new! 2 Corinthians 5:17
  
• I am wonderfully made! Psalm 139:14
• I am victorious! Romans 8:37
• I am valuable! Romans 5:5-8
• My future is secure! Jeremiah 29:11
• I am redeemed! Galatians 3:13

We've all heard the classic question stemming from Ali Baba, Aladdin or some other literary fantasy,   “If you had a genie and 3 wishes, what would you wish for?” Of course, 3 more wishes, right?! Or how about infinite wishes?! I know, it sounds contradictory talking of God and fantasy in the same article, but just for argument's sake, can you see how cool it would be?  As a young girl, I would have wished for barns full of horses and of course, German Shepherds; for fields of tall grass and days of sunshine. (Ok, so maybe I would still wish for those!) But seriously, as I get older and realize the value of a life in Jesus Christ, my wish would be for family and loved ones to come to know Him; for them to be saved.

I pray daily for so many. Truth be told, I sometimes have great anxiety over the fact that some of the people closest to me do not know Jesus. I witness and I pray, I pray and I encourage. But in most cases, I see no progress. The seeds are planted, but I see not even the earliest evidence of germination. I become frustrated and discouraged. I take it upon myself and make it personal. I try to remind myself that God is the only one who can bring a loved one to salvation. We are called to be examples and to reflect Jesus in our daily walk, but we alone cannot make an unbeliever into a believer. This is the work of the Holy Spirit. Getting out of God’s way is sometimes the best witnessing we can do.

I am reminded of the mess I was for so many years. I, too was told about Jesus and how submitting to Him was the best thing I would ever do, how a simple prayer would cover a multitude of sins and give me freedom from the bondage I didn't even knew I was in. I resisted, I reasoned and I refused for a long time. I justified and defended my behavior. I wasn't hearing it! But at some point, I began to get it; to listen to and understand the good news. It was like watching a film with subtitles and then suddenly hearing it in English. As if the blinders were removed, and I saw the whole picture. The patience that God had while I resisted is the same patience I must exercise as I wait for him to move in the hearts of my loved ones.

 Ephesians 2:4-9 says “But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” Wow! What a gift!

So join me in praying for the lost, the broken and the lonely. May God come into their hearts and change them with the saving love of Jesus Christ. And if this is you, and if you do not know Jesus as your savior, I urge you to accept His free gift of life. He loves you and will meet you where you are. Best. Decision. Ever.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank you for saving me with the blood of your son, Jesus. Thank you for your patience with me as you prompted me to respond to your invitation. I pray that all those who are called into your kingdom respond sooner, not later,  with an emphatic, “Yes, Lord!” In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen

I found myself in a roomful of seniors, mostly ailing; an all too familiar sight to the staff at the facility, but not so familiar to me. As we visited, I recognized one woman who was an acquaintance of mine more that 25 years ago. I had admired her back then. She had been a professional business woman; thriving, successful, strong, influential and always dressed to the nines. Her social life as booming as her business, she didn’t want for friends. But this day, she was frail and vulnerable, feeble and weak. As we spoke, she confessed,” I don’t know what happened to me. I was happy, retired and planting my garden. And the next thing I know, I’m in here. I don’t understand it.” My eyes filled with tears. She was helpless and hopeless. I saw the transformation from viable contributing adult to aging and dependent senior.

This brief encounter caused me to ask myself, “What am I striving for? Bronze skin, perfect physique, popularity, money and admiration? What am I trying to achieve in my few short years here? " I was reminded of Proverbs 31:30 - Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. I am not judging. I honestly know nothing about her personal life, only my perception of it. And I pray that she knows Jesus.  But I was prompted to think about my own transition into later seasons of life. I need to remind myself to be caring for my soul and my spiritual life as dutifully as I care for and adorn my dying body. These temporary bodies will fail us. Our souls however will live on. Are you feeding your soul healthy things, like time in His Word and time in prayer? Are you nurturing your relationship with Jesus as fervently as you nourish with beauty products?  It is not the reflection we see in the mirror that matters. It’s that we reflect Jesus to the world. It is not the brand names and trends that cover our bodies, but knowing that Jesus’ death and resurrection covered our sin debt. The money will come and go but a right relationship with God is priceless.

While self care is vital, let’s be careful not to let vanity become our identity. 

 Oh, that we could all be the Proverbs 31 woman!!

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
10b A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29“Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.